Windy Day

There are days when it feels like the wind is helping me along
adding a little pep to my step
brushing my hair from my face
whistling happy soundtrack tunes
and making everything dance to the sway of the trees.
Then there are those days when a failure gust knocks me down
resisting my efforts to crawl forward
smearing the salty drops on my cheeks
deafening my thoughts like a rumbling train
and tearing leaves to throw them far from their branchy homes.
Those days where this wishy washy unpredictable snaking breeze
longs to live like the sun
where everyone needs me
I never let them down
and always show up on time
when I can persuade the buds to blossom
and shine to make them all look a little brighter.
But that's Your job.
So on these leaf-tearing, mind-blowing windy days
I'll lean against the wind
letting the dead leaves fly free
to make room for the buds you have in mind
and just hold on
digging my roots into You.



"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

"..if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, 'How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me?'...as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you...but the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearies by our sins, or our indifference; a therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him...The battle is between faith and reason on one side and emotion and imagination on the other...You find out the strength of the wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down...We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means-the only complete realist." C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride."
Ecclesiastes 7:8

“Although it’s true that there are times when we are merely bystanders in life’s ever-ending stream of head-on collisions, rarely are we completely innocent. More often than not, we do something to contribute to the problem’s we’re experiencing. People who are the best at dialogue understand this simple fact and turn it into the principle “Work on me first.” They realize that not only are they likely to benefit by improving their own approach, but also that they’re the only person they can work on anyway. As much as others may need to change, or we may want them to change, the only person we can continually inspire, prod, and shape - with any degree of success - is the person in the mirror." Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2

Eavesdropping

Fathers have evolved over the years

from armchair-sitting, hat-wearing, pipe-smoking thinking men

peeking from behind grey crinkly newspapers

to offer stern wisdom from time to time

coming home from work to put their feet up

and remind the little ones to speak when their spoken to.

But these days call for a different daddy

those ant-finding, barbie-playing, couch-wrestling heroes

jumping out from closets with flashlights under their chins

and building forts with chairs and garish Disney character blankets

who get down on the floor to lift up their children with their feet

and it reminds me of the Gospels with You in the thick of it.

Somehow his adoration for her in those silly G.I. Joe games

giddy laughter from the basement and back porch squeals

bare foot walks and late night mermaid stories

it all feels more like love letters addressed to me.

And somehow Your love for humanity

in Genesis rainbows and a stone rolled away

those long walks from town to town from the manger to the cross

somehow it all feels more like eavesdropping

on the evolution of a loving father

from that arm chair throne to the toy-cluttered carpet

and the love letter You meant for all of us.

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." Joseph Addison

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him." Psalm 103:13

Words of Wonder

Four Words from Granger Community on Vimeo.

we have a secret, don't we...
like a wink no one else sees
or the sticky candy-flavored secrets
whisper in telephone playground games
but I'm afraid if I tell them the truth
they'll misunderstand
and walk away annoyed and confused
like when a really skinny chick gets a compliment
but rolls her eyes and complains about her thighs
somehow cheapening her beauty
so maybe I'll just smile and say thank you
and keep our little secret
the ethereal truth that might only creep them out
after all, theophanies only happen in the bible
but the secrets bubbling up and steaming like a geyser
and there it is
the bursting truth that
sometimes it's not really writing
it's dictation
like transcribing a dream
But when I wake up everyone's singing my praises
telling me how smart and talented I am
while I wipe my sleepy eyelids and stutter,
clumsily trying to interject the naked truth
like a man lost at sea who passed out in a cushiony raft
and got home to read the epic headlines
of his thousand mile swim
I want to argue
all I did was ask for Your help
craving what You wanted them to know
our little sticky secret
that I'm not really that intelligent
that I'm not that great of a writer
just a girl lost in a sea of wonder
learning how to listen to You.


"When you own that you are God's beloved and not people's property, it will free you up as an artist in a way that sets others free. And through this freedom, the character of who God is will be finally and freely revealed."
Efrem Smith, "Worship of the Beloved"
Toward Wonder: Willow Creek Arts Conference '09

"Wonder is the basis of worship. When we, as artists, live in a state of wonder ourselves, then we are better able to usher others into the presence of a wonderful God."
Nancy Beach, "Toward Wonder" Willow Creek Arts Conference '09

"Therefore once more I will astound these people
with wonder upon wonder;
the wisdom of the wise will perish,
the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish." Isaiah 29: 14

Summer Night

summer from eyemotion on Vimeo.

Wind Chimes clink

Water balloons in the kitchen sink

Porch swings where eyelids sink

Pink Lemonade to drink

More time to stop and think

In the Spirit of the Summer.

Hopscotch on sidewalk chalk

Riding bikes around the block

Lawn chairs for long talks

Come on in, no need to knock

Forgetting about the clock

In the Spirit of the Summer

Lean down to feed the swans

No televisions on
Lots of smiling yawns

Lush clover carpet lawn

No agenda agreed upon

In the Spirit of Summer

Nature serenading You

Gentle birds coo coo

Beaches sunset hue

Fluffy White against the blue

I look up to say “thank you”

For the Spirit of Summer.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.”

Sir J. Lubbock

Stepping Stones

without Your story, it's just a silent stone in a pocket
clandestine power veiled and caressed by their fingertips
like poetry cradling hidden meanings
nestled in a knitted hammock sling like a Fathers arms
giving secret life like the sun on a greenhouse roof
a pocket size reminder of your colossal love
something to hold in the palms of their hands
reminding their minds and hearts to cling to You
again or for the very first time
and I pray they hold on tight
not to a quick fix
a temporary high
some euphoric picture
of harps and cherubs
not to some pasted happy face smile
some whitewash cover that will fade
but to the new stepping stone reality of You
right there next to them in the thick of it
because even though they're different on Sunday
Monday is coming like a whining, rumbling train
that churning locomotive "all aboard!" inevitability
back to the same cluttered, argumentative homes
the same itchy, irritable workplaces and sticky red tape
the same four walled cells on the calendar routine
the same catch in their lower backs or aching knees
And I pray they can feel You with them
carrying them along like a stone in Your pocket
remembering little David looking up at a giant
a new sense of purpose
a new way to love their families
a new way to see their coworkers
there's work to be done
and the body of Christ just got a little stronger
bearing all those burdens and
weight-lifting all those stones
leading us on the same path as Stephen and Paul
who felt the impact of the stones of opposition
and following the stone the builders rejected
that became the cornerstone
who stood between all of us and a bucket of stones
a line in the sand, daring the blameless to cast the first one
and especially celebrating that third day
when the stone was rolled away
And that is just the smooth surface
of the hidden pocketed power
of those little stepping stones.


"As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, "The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone. " 1 Peter 2: 4-7

"Every addition to that body enables Him to do more. If you want to help those outside you must add your own little cell to the body of Christ who alone can help them. Cutting off a man's fingers would be an odd way of getting him to do more work." C.S. Lewis , Mere Christianity

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good... I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us." Romans 8: 26-28, 38-39 (Msg)

"... the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God...the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because he loves us; just as the roof of a green house does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it..." C.S. Lewis , Mere Christianity

Chutes and Ladders

Sometimes I'm bruised in the smooth, slick setbacks

dragging me down to fatigue at the bottom of the board

never really enjoying the ladders for fear of the next slide

but maybe I should just play like Lauren

knowing I'm meant to reach the top eventually

high-fiving all my fellow cardboard standup friends

and sailing down with my hands raised to You

Wheeeeeeee!

“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” Thomas Merton

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Melt

We've become an icy generation
frozen opinions wrapped in newspapers and online forums
Noisy arctic winds stinging our rosy ears
and caressing our pride smooth as glass
frosty voices hissing humanity's biting independence
and we stand tall to hide our shivering
jaws clenched to resist our chattering teeth
while the world continues to hammer
chipping and cracking
breaking and shattering
piece by piece

But Your springtime is always waiting
tiny buds awaiting the end to frosty hibernation
Subtle breezes crinkling in the leather-bound, gold-tipped pages
and melting our hearts, balmy with new life
Warm worship melodies singing our sunshine dependence
and we kneel at Your feet to give up our glacial ways
arms up to reach the toasty glow of surrender
while You bend down to envelop us in Your embrace
melting and nourishing
healing and soothing
peace by peace




"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell." C.S. Lewis

"I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice." Psalm 51:16 (Msg)

A Week of Lessons: Easter Sunday

my 30 Easters with You

reveal an emerging and quirky story

of how Your bold steps out of an empty tomb

pulled my slow, shy steps out of the shadows

from paralyzed fear and dragging heals to a dance of joy in sun

that first Easter was a snapshot of a nine month old baby

probably sleeping on the floor behind the organ

is some frilly Easter pastels and patten leather

tiny eyes peeking at mommy's feet on the peddles

and hearing daddy's voice lead the congregation in a lullaby hymn

five years later you'd see a bubbly pig-tailed grin

under a white floppy hat with matching purse

skipping from one white-haired lady to another

for "oohs and awes" at my twirling dress

and some free bubble gum fished out of purses

a princess in a steepled castle

and the pews were my playground

but something happened in those next years

a hole in the story where the process is blocked out

like a blurred face or bout with amnesia

the music shifts for that 12th Easter

like that pulsing heartbeat screechy violin in a horror movie

as the victim's hand shakes and reaches for a doorknob

maybe it was a new city, new career for dad, new everything

knocking awkward knees hidden under a guise of invisible

layered in dull colors of grays and tans

back row of the church, singing harmony in a whisper

feeling a ball of ice in my throat that could melt into tears

if I didn't keep swallowing and keep my face hidden in the pages

a simple shyness let loose into a Tasmanian devil

of anxiety that sewed the lips shut

brought on chest pains and doubled-over stomach aches

and asked mom and dad to order for me at restaurants

but I ran to You in my diary prayers

in the safety of my messy bedroom

and jumped inside elaborate costumes

in the safety of a fantasy stage

and You started something new, something bigger

than a hand-me-down truth from mom and dad.

Zooming through the sands of time to today

sitting at my desk, grinning with peace, surrounded by people

as I listen to the team I love celebrating You

6 services, lots of fingerfoods, good conversations & skip-bo,

dancing a dance once again like that five year old princess

or an uncivilized king who wrote a few poems himself

trying to ignore those old fears that try to steal it all away again

but then You remind me of that evolving story of our Easter dance

from too scared to order at restaurants

to leading a team of superstars

only You...

I can't wait to see what You have in mind for my little girl

and all her Easters to come

I wonder what Your steps out of that tomb

will lead her to

and I hope she'll share with me

those secret anniversaries of her heart

her own private holy days with You

for this Easter

and many more to come.

"The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart: the secret anniversaries of the heart." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"For the devout Jew, the calendar was more the a way of marking time. It provided a timely way to commemorate God's dealings in the life of the nation. The month of Nisan marked the Passover, the time of Israel's deliverance from Egyptian bondage. Sivan brought the feast of Pentecost, the celebration of another bountiful harvest from God. Tishri took the people back to their wilderness wanderings through the Feast of the Tabernacles. Each holiday became a holy day--a time of recalling, repenting, and renewing old commitments to follow the God of Israel. Holidays really can be holy days. The word holy means set apart for divine services or purposes. Our modern calendar can remind us as believers to commemorate what God has done for us."

Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose, Live Fearlessly

"Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives."2 Corinthians 5:17-19 (Msg)

A Week of Lessons: Good Friday

2000 years ago time stopped for a moment
and all our children know is a day out of school
a foreshadowed glimpse at a truth too big
for their tiny hands to hold just yet
like trying to reach something on a high shelf
and all you can do is yell for mommy
or wait to grow taller
reading this chapter reads more like a scary story
torn flesh, nails crushing through bones,
crowd-screaming earthquakes, dead people rising from the grave,
a love letter written in blood
it's hard for them to see why it is called
Good Friday
she can read a simple 3 letter word
but "sin" isn't really chewable when you're six
I try to make it bigger than stickers on a chart
allowance for chores
and consequences for missteps in the 5th commandment
attempting to cut it down into smaller pieces
and hoping the puzzle comes together on it's own
she can't feel the darkness of today
that illuminates the light of Sunday
she can't know what that torn curtain in the temple
means to the soul of her parents and grandparents
For now, the cross is a symbol she loves to call out
like seeing a picture of her best friend
on some random billboard on vacation
"Hey, they know Jesus too!" she cries, waving frantically
while strange, hesitant smiles peek out car windows
or hide under tall steeples on the highway
so much life in her eyes from Your symbol of death
an arm stretched up to that top shelf on tiptoe
but she still can't quite reach it yet
and all I can do is call to You
and wait for her to grow taller


"Learn to know Christ and him crucified. Learn to sing to him, and say, 'Lord Jesus, you are my righteousness, I am your sin. You have taken upon yourself what is mine and given me what is yours. You have become what you were not so that I might become what I was not.'" Martin Luther

"God offers life, but not an improved old life. The life He offers is life out of death. It always stands at the far side of the cross." A.W. Tozer

"God didn't send me out to collect a following for myself, but to preach the Message of what he has done, collecting a following for him. And he didn't send me to do it with a lot of fancy rhetoric of my own, lest the powerful action at the center—Christ on the Cross—be trivialized into mere words." 1 Corinthians 1:17

A Week of Lessons: Maundy Thursday

John 13 never gets old

like a movie I could watch over and over again

with a blanket and a bag of popcorn

but it's never the same twice

that day You wrapped a towel around Your waist

and shocked 12 men and the world

with your moment of upside down leadership

a King kneeling at the feet of his subjects

and I just didn't want her to miss it

the warm water enveloping our feet

Your monument in our hearts

celebrated in our reaching hands

and Your gentle touch in our patting towels

and I'm praying it's a little drop of rain

in the ocean of faith You have in mind for her

teaching me to be content

that for now

it's just a little bowl

for now....

John 13
Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet

1It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.[a]
2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"
7Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
8"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."
9"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"
10Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.
12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

A Week of Lessons: Palm Sunday

"I want to make a palm branch, Mommy"
she said with determination in her eyes
and green construction paper in her hands
lessons from Miss Sheila still swirling in her mind
but her hands needed something to remember it by
"And I want to make a sign"
I could see she had been to Jerusalem
in the time travel machine of her imagination
and she didn't think You saw her in the crowd
and I can't help but grin for the day she finds You found her
"It has to be big and bold!"
scribbling through 4 markers that didn't make the cut
too light, too thin, too faded, too pink,
until she landed on a solid, bold brown
like the cross coming heavy on Friday
"Maybe I should make two!"
She was resolved to catch Your gaze from that donkey
tongue out to the side as she sounded out the words
white fingertips as she held the paper steady
adding a smiley face for visual effect
"Nope, three would be even better!"
And I can't help but think of three days,
three times denied, Abrham , Issac and Jacob,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit
but she's not even content with Your number of completion
"Oh, I forgot the last one!"
her pursed lips slide to the side
her gaze is vacant as she searches for the perfect words
she begins to plan for enough space for all her letters
and I can't help but thank You for this
little monument of praise
Your triumphant entry
moving from my little girl's mind
out to her fingertips
up to You
and from her heart to mine
As I read the finished product
correcting the spelling in my teacher head
but secretly loving every mistake in my silence
I can't help but praise You
through my little girls words
"hosanna, hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the king
We love You, Lord (smiley face)
Hail to the King (Beating Heart)
I love you with all of my heart, with all my strength"
I take a few sapshots
like 12 stones by the Jordan
and I can't think of a better way
to begin this Holy week


When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted, "Hosanna!" "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" "Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!" "Hosanna in the highest!" Mark 11:7-10

"It may feel like you can't choose your desires, but you can always choose your worship." Jason Miller, Palm Sunday 2009, Granger Community Church

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom." Henry Ward Beecher

"Let your home be your parish, your little brood your congregation, your living room a sanctuary, and your knee a sacred altar." Billy Graham

Lunch Date with Fear

Fear talks too much

and most of the time I just sit and listen

fist under my chin, nodding from time to time

false token smiles so he feels like he's making sense

trying to be polite and endure him until the check comes

but in the opportunity of my silence

his pitch starts to sound appealing

all my life he's been hissing in my ear

but I invited You to come along today

for my lunch date with fear

You have a better proposal for both of us

and we haven't even ordered yet.

My uncivillized elbows jump and land on the table

as I lean forward to listen to only You

The more he interrupts,

the less sense he begins to make.

You model patience in your relaxed posture of peace

because You know he's meant for You alone.

And I think I just caught You winking at me....

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"God gives power to the faint...Courage is not the absence of fear but the presence of faith despite it." Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose, Living Fearlessly: A Study in the Book of Joshua

"Shame arises from the fear of men, conscience from the fear of God." Samuel Johnson

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." C.S. Lewis

Marilyn's Dishes

If Jesus were a grandma,
I think he might be mine.
Humility and royalty
and love all intertwined.
Maybe that’s why we love
her stoic Queen Marilyn look
And marvel at her silent focus
in cross word puzzle books.
There are times I can’t help but see her
in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,
Quick glimpses of her spirit,
like a lightbulb flickering off and on
When Jesus wrapped that towel around his waist
and knelt to wash their feet
That’s where Grandma’s gentle hands
and quiet wisdom meet
In every song, if you listen close
you can hear her servant heart sing
But you won’t find her out onstage,
you’ll have to go back in the wings.
Or maybe in the kitchen
before the production of the family meal
Or at the bedside with a sick child
in the spot where she bent to kneel.
She calmed the stormy family seas
with toddlers and teenagers both
She loved and led her children well
through every stage of growth
She may not have healed the lame
or made the blind to see
But she was there with Band-aids and a magic kiss
for every scrape and skinned knee
Our family has plenty of talkers,
but her few words are always loaded with truth
And even now at eighty years young
she exudes the beauty of youth.
But the times when I see her the brightest
are when Jesus told his stories
Epic tales, parables with seeds
and woven metaphors that bring You glory.
My favorite story we always heard
was the one about Marilyn’s dishes
A little town called West Plains Missouri,
and a five year old’s Christmas wishes
It was the time of Steinbeck novels,
they’d lost all the animals on the farm,
But little Marilyn’s faith never wavered,
the town delighted by her hope-filled charm,
“My dishes will be here this Christmas”
she said in a Princess Marilyn stance
In a time when many dragged their feet,
little Marilyn was in a twirling dance
“Now don’t get your hopes up, Marilyn”
Thelma warned in her serious Mama voice
Secretly wishing she could find some way,
and knowing she had no choice
The town was sad that Christmas Eve
for Marilyn’s dream was quite well known
But much like the Jews that first Christmas Eve,
they didn’t know You had a plan of Your own.
Aunt Laura was the only one in the town
who didn’t seem to know the tale
And had no idea the hope she’d bring
with that box of toy dishes for sale.
Princess Marilyn was not at all surprised
and wondered why everyone was dumbfounded
But hope filled the town with this small miracle
that left them all astounded.
That little set of dishes was the just first of many
that she would carefully place
And there’s an open seat for everyone at her table
just like her open embrace.
Her dishes may have changed over the years,
for children will take care of that
But when everyone else is a thermometer,
Grandma is the thermostat
Steady and calm, keeping us cool
in each and every season
Listening to her daughters' complaining
even when there was no reason
Surviving her boys' many injuries,
broken bones and bloody noses,
And we have a feeling that life with Bob
wasn’t always a bed of roses.
But in all the ups and downs of marriage,
Her company was always preferred,
And as she shared on a walk with Mom one day,
she never doubted his love for her.
Much like her dishes, Grandma loves
providing delicious meals,
Silently listening to everyone else talk
about how everyone else feels.
But she never complained
or carried her chores like a heavy duty
But lightly carried all our doxology prayers
on the shoulders of her alto beauty.
Many a sweet honey ham or a juicy roast
have been devoured on those dishes and table
And even if that story in West Plains Missouri
evolves into an old fable
Those of us who know her well
know forgetting her could never occur
And if Jesus could be someone’s dishes,
I think he’d be one of hers.


Happy 80th Birthday, Grandma. We love you.

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Mark 9:35

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15b

"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt." - Woodrow T. Wilson

Kol Yahweh Collage

the faded rectangle above the mantle
once held the Mona Lisa
as I imagined Your dedication to one subject alone
romantic, wobbly mommy-shoe-walking dreams
of me as the heroine in my own story
when I thought you were painting me
all alone in my frightening plainness
but as the years passed by
sun-faded walls decaying secretly
too slow for my fast footsteps to notice
my own child shooting up like sunflowers
long before Monet's golden vase
a pigtailed girl trapped in an unknown portrait
of a befuddled, purse-toting grownup
who still can't walk in heels
like Bambi on that first day of spring
But as the seasons keep me dizzy with their spinning

and my little girl takes an afternoon off

into the world of paper possibilities
I'm beginning to glimpse
what you might have meant for the mantle all along
a collage
a bunch of scraps found on sidewalks
old magazines on their way to the recycling plant
and even some waste already tossed aside
and only You can see the beauty
before the scissors and paste
bring us all together
but there are those days at the office
when I feel more like a speck you should brush off
than a bright spot in the mystery room we squint to see
a critic urging you to rip me off
before the glue dries and I leave a fuzzy paper flaw
admiring my larger, more colorful colleagues
the odd one out, the awkward silence,
the rolled eyes of relief when I leave the room
the only pink freckle in a beautiful mosaic
of cool blues, indigos, and greens
and that's when You press me down
blow a gentle, honey breath to dry me in place
cock your head to the side with an upturned smile
urging me to rethink beauty
and trust in Your scissor plan
in a steady hand
to find joy in my small part
in Your beautiful
collage.

"Business meetings should be viewed as worship services. Available facts can be presented and discussed, all with a view to listening to the voice of Christ. Facts are only one aspect of the decision-making process and in themselves are not conclusive. The Spirit can lead contrary to or in accordance with the available facts. God will implant a spirit of unity when the right path has been chosen and trouble us with restlessness when we have not heard correctly. Unity rather than majority rule is the principle to corporate guidance. Spirit-given unity goes beyond mere agreement. It is the perception that we have heard the Kol Yahweh, the voice of God."
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good... The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," ...But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other."

1 Corinthians 12: 4-7, 12-15, 22-25 (NIV)

The White Flag

Mr. Clark did not like my answer
so he flipped his fuzzy, hippy ponytail

behind his shoulder and clarified his question

in his best Art teacher whose patience is being tried voice
"No, Krissy, white is the absence of color.

So what is really your favorite color?"

I was taking a stand

my white-turning gray-Keds firmly planted

"White."

I looked down at the sticky, paint-freckled floor as I said it.

Wincing in hopes he wasn't angry with me.

He sighed with more Tornado coffee breath than usual

"Today's assignment deals with color.

You'll need to settle for something on your pallette

and capture the essence of a real object in our world.

I do not want to have to repeat myself again, young lady."

My 5th grade brain ran the hamster on the wheel

and wanted to ask for black paper and white paint

But it was a losing battle, so I nodded like a white flag waving.

I sighed as I swirled my brush between red and blue

and carefully painted the outline of a fluffy cloud

but in my heart I knew it wasn't about the purple lining...

white gloves with white pearl handled purses at Easter

White hymnal pages guiding us in "I Surrender All"

white daises, fresh linen pillowcases, dove soap bubble baths,

the white carpet in the living room when we removed shoes

to be standing on Mom's holy ground

lying in the grass making stories of white-horse heroes

from the cumulus canopies of cottonball possibilities

the white wig of my first transformation on the stage

into Huckleberry Finn's widow caretaker

the white tiped canes and white trimmed hats of dance

prom dress to wedding gown

and on to little white onesies snapping open

for a quick change back to clean, dry,

and powdered to perfection

but my favorite

the truth behind my all-time favorite color

or, according to Mr. Clark, lack thereof

that little white rabbit

I'll never stop chasing

the day I surrendered my life to You

and I will wave that white flag

each and every morning

as I surrender all

to You.

"Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe;

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow.

For nothing good have I

Whereby Thy grace to claim,

I’ll wash my garments white

In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb."

(John T. Grape, "Jesus Paid it All" hymn, 1865)

"All to Jesus I surrenderAll to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,

In his presence daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all;

All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all."

(Judson VandeVenter,"I Surrender All"hymn, 1896)

"Faith, as Paul saw it, was a living, flaming thing leading to surrender and obedience to the commandments of Christ." A.W. Tozer

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1

The Boy on the Bus

now I know how a mother bird feels
that fateful day when those tiny, hopping feet
first fall outside her twiggy circle of safety
teetering on the edge of the branch
stretching their inexperienced wings and looking down
she must be breathless when she first loses sight of them...
but for us humans, it's a slow, hidden ritual
like watching the tree grow
but there are days you notice a new branch beginning
or a new site on the growing horizon
and today was one of those days.
She got off the bus slower than usual
her daily bounce and grin suddenly missing
as if stolen in some violent, unseen moment
and she stepped inside to tell the story.
Four older boys who I envisioned with forked tongues
had hovered over her seat like crows
the ring leader hit her on the back
"Hey, little girl! Do you know what a _________ is?"
He continued with a series of phrases and gestures
I hadn't learned until high school and way past puberty
As the vulgar words and gestures were repeated
by our naive, confused and eternally precious little kindergartener
our hearts slid into our stomaches and we tried to catch our breaths
for me, the tears were immediate,
but I was safely on the other end of the phone
keeping my voice from wavering, my tone calm, my mind racing
with routes to speed up the commute back to the nest
But she could see the anger tightening in her daddy's jawline
as he explained that those words were not meant for her ears
and the boys needed to pay for what they'd done
a noble calling for justice teetering on vengeance in his throat
and then it happened,
You were there in her voice
as she walked over and put her hand on his shoulder
"Daddy, it's ok. I bet there's a nice boy
deep down inside this mean boy
and we should say a prayer that he can come out
and that his momy and daddy can start doing better
at teaching him right from wrong."
And there she was, winging off into the sunlight
carried by the winds of You
as we marveled from the nest.
We can't shelter her from the world
or even from the boy on the bus
but we can trust in You
to help us teach her how to fly.


"Therefore you shall lay up these My words in your minds and hearts and in your entire being, and bind them for a sign upon your hands and as forehead bands between your eyes.
And you shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.
And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates,
That your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth."
Deuteronomy 11: 18-21

"To be 'in charge' as a parent means inspiring your children to motivate themselves. Servant leadership addresses the key principle of relationship vs. control. The truth is we have a far greater responsibility to our children than we have for our children. The bottom line is this: You need to be in control of the thing you can control, and that starts with you. I am responsible to my child for how I relate with my child. The only way to retain a position of influence with our children is to regain a positon of control over ourselves."
Ron Craker, "Parenting" Journey Bible Class, February 2009

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that."
Ephesians 5:1-2 (Msg)

Fashionably Late

"Kissing Cousins" : )

just like her mommy
our little niece has decided to take her time
and arrive fashionably late
with her own dramatic flare
and sweet romantic sensibilities
I look up at my "little" sister
facing the epic bildungsroman of motherhood
and still see a gangly nine year old
walking down the aisle
having arrived just minutes before
with a basket of flower petals
and pins still hidden in her dress
but a joy and bounce in her step
the bridesmaids had all grown out of
and a glowing smile grinning with dreams
they may have envied for a moment
three years later a daddy disappeared
in a hospital waiting room
like a car crash in slow motion
the first of many men to love, bruise, and leave
and the checkered flag was waved
growing up at NASCAR pace
and feeling a little queasy in the passenger's seat
just trying to brace herself for the next turn
the next driver to climb through the window
to love, bruise, and leave
But You had in mind a blessing she couldn't imagine
disguised as a mistaken compromise
all wrapped in pink and waiting for her
to end the spin cycle and rest in You
because it’s easy to see her daughter’s worth it
when she can’t seem to see it in herself
yet she still has that breathless fear of failure
bracing herself for the next romance and rejection
scared little Avery will follow in her footsteps
instead of walking in the truth of You
but the mother hen is pecking at the surface
and calling her back into Your arms
to the cliff's edge of complete trust
the image and reality of the one man
she can lean on
who comes to love, heal, and stay
and she wishes she'd stayed there years ago
but has that joy back in her walk
as she grins all the way to the hospital
baby equipment locked in her car
and You locked in her heart
fashionably late



Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
John 13:7

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

Take Five

"take five!"
the director calls
as our shoulders relax
and our posture sinks
from our characters
to our true selves
some sit for chit chat or pull out phones
to check the modern world for what they missed
during their time in Ancient Athens
others head out for a much-desired cigarette
mixing freezing breath and nicotine in the cold night air
and I look around and think
of how much You must love them
how much You long for companionship
with these colorful characters you've written into the story
this all started with a nudge from You
to pop the bubble and avoid becoming a candle in a lit room
and I daydream of all I could say in those five minutes
they think church is "my thing"
like a new haircut, or my favorite sweater this winter,
like a preferred mix at Starbucks
as if You are a prescription for only my ailments
how do I tell them You're not just my thing?
You're everything.
This ache as if looking at a beautiful sunset
and I turn to share it with someone I love
but I am alone
the beauty somehow lessened by their absence
suddenly aware
they're missing this.
because I remember the days before You found me
where the Bard's words seem to ring true
All the world was a stage
knowing when to be on and off,
a lot of waiting in the wings for the next cue,
trying on beauty and adventure
only two hours at a time
then removing the glimpse of joy and hint of purpose
along with fitted costumes and cake makeup
and all for fleeting 2 minute applause
and a smiling bow.
I ache for the day
they can see beyond the blinding stage lights
sitting in an open cell
a child lost in a store running away from his mother
or someone drowning next to a raft
and they just keep reassuring us
they're excellent swimmers
But eventually, even for Michael Phelps
fatigue will come like a thief in the night
and I wish I could speed up the process
like the dragged out pacing in a slow scene
some spontaneous epic Shakespearean soliloquy
"Once more to the breach!" with a hint of Braveheart bravado
that would save the day and point them all to You
but the last thing they need is more production
they need to grab a hold of something
as real as their names in the folded programs
perhaps they could somehow sense the double entendre
read between the memorized lines
hear my eagerness as I ask to hear their stories
like a magic flower spell that could open their eyes
to see how much we love them
so they can finally, truly
let their postures sink
from their characters to their true selves
and not just for a five minute break
but with You for all eternity
but I know the timing isn't right
so I come to You for stage directions
for our final bow is approaching
and I close my eyes
to welcome our conversations
as I learn to
trust in Your timing and
take five


"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8:26-28


"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot...
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain...
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. "
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2, 5, 7, 10-14

Sheets and Comforter

5:00am
I hop into prayer

like mom and dad's bed

in a booming thunderstorm

with sheets of rain driving sideways in the wind

And I give this day to You

with its flood of uncertainties

wincing before each loud boom

for I cannot predict the timing

or the intensity of the mystery that shakes the windows

as if an ill-intending intruder pounding to come inside

But You just tuck me in the middle

and begin telling epic stories of David prayers

in the middle of his own storms

as You whisper beneath the comforter of morning orison

reminding me what I already knew

but needed to hear only You say

"No matter what happens. I'm here."

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

so why should I be afraid?

The Lord is my fortress,

protecting me from danger,

so why should I tremble?

...my heart will not be afraid.

Even if I am attacked,

I will remain confident.
The one thing I ask of the Lord—

the thing I seek most—

is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

delighting in the Lord’s perfections

and meditating in his Temple.

For he will conceal me there when troubles come;

he will hide me in his sanctuary.

He will place me out of reach on a high rock.

Then I will hold my head high

I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”

And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

... the Lord will hold me close.
Teach me how to live, O Lord.

Lead me along the right path,

...I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness

while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

Psalm 27: 1, 3-6, 8, 10, 11, 13-14

"A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But he become more and more quiet until in the end he realized that prayer is listening." Soren Kierkegaard, Christian Discourses

"Faith is not when we abandon reality and avoid the cares of the world; faith is when we look reality square in the face. Accepting what is real, we recognize there is a deeper truth beneath that truth. There's a greater truth that transcends that truth--that God cares, that God has a plan. God cares about your life, your future, your fortune. God cares about your dreams. God made you with a purpose, on purpose, for a purpose, and God is with you." Mark Beeson "I Think We Might Lose Everything" sermon Jan. 24-25, 2009

"Jesus taught us to come like children to a father. Openness, honesty and trust mark the communication of children with their father...There is an intimacy between parents and children that has room for both seriousness and laughter...Jesus taught us to pray for daily bread. Have you ever noticed that children ask for lunch in utter confidence that it will be provided? They have no need to stash away today's sandwiches for fear there will be none tomorrow. As far as they are concerned, there is an endless supply of sandwiches." Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

The Tour

Worship causes memory loss,
like a sight-seeing trip on a charter bus
we fly through the beauty of the countryside
or crane our necks, wide-mouthed at the lights of the city
forgetting the carpet stains back in our living rooms
because we haven't stepped over them today
all we see is the Grand Canyon, the Rockies carving out the horizon
forgetting the arguments, tasks to do,
and new anxieties teetering in our minds like a tour of glasses,
but for those moments, for that hour,
all we know is we're sailing through the glory of You
and all we can do is sing, weep, dance, smile,
maybe raise a hand or two
in our little efforts to thank You.
Think of how much we'd miss if we only watched the driver
observing his mad skills behind the wheel
noting his fervent commitment to speed limits and traffic laws
asking about the bus itself and all it's gadgetry
thinking if only we had a bus of our own, think of all we could do...
it would break the poor drivers heart
because his job is to help us forget he's even there
and enjoy the ride.
And he loves his job.
All too often this is what we do in the modern church
when we try to fit our You-appointed worship leaders
in little rock star boxes complete with twisty ties
and cool outfits from the Buckle
And after a year and half of backstage passes
watching them pray, laugh, live, and plot each new destination
I know it would break their hearts.
Because they know there's only one
true Worship Leader
and they're just a guided tour.
And they love their jobs.
Thank You for choosing this amazing group of guys
who's talents would merit fame, fortune,
and their own private tour buses with hot tubs and mini-bars
but who choose to role up their sleaves and get behind the wheel
to cause memory loss so we can enjoy the ride,
who live souled out for you
carrying joy and authentic faith in their pockets
right next to the guitar picks and some clinking coins,
driving us into a forgetful beauty
that leaves us forever changed
by the glory of You.


"Go, praying. Go, expecting. Go, looking for God to do a new and living work in you . . . look forward to God acting and moving and teaching and wooing and winnning . . . Just as worship begins in holy expectancy, it ends in holy obedience. If worship does not propel us into greater obedience, it has not been worship. To stand before the Holy One of eternity is to change. . . Today God is call his church back to worship. It's as if God is saying 'I want the hearts of my people back!' And if we long to go where God is going and do what God is doing, we will move into deeper, more authentic worship. . . Genuine worship has only one Leader, Jesus Christ. When I speak of Jesus as the Leader of worship, I mean, first of all, that he is alive and present among his people. His voice can be heard in their hearts and his presence known...Christ is the leader of worship in the sense that he alone decides what human means will be used, if any. Individuals preach or prophesy or sing or pray as they are called forth by their Leader. In this way there is no room for the elevation of private reputations. Jesus alone is honored." 

Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline


"You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve." Matt 4:10


"A quickening Presence pervades us, breaking down some part of the special privacy and isolation of our individual lives and blending our spirits within a superindividual Life and Power. An objective, dynamic Presence enfolds us all, nourishes our souls, speaks glad, unutterable comfort with us, and quickens us in depths that had before been slumbering." Thomas R. Kelly, The Eternal Promise


"Worship is a deliberate and disciplined adventure in reality." Willard Sperry, The Fellowship of the Saints


"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." Col 3:15-17 (Msg)